I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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