Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
