is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You did what with his pubic hair?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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