you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
