What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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