About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
