1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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