I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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