she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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