Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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