I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
