I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
