The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
