Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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