Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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