And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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