So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
