Sponge bath it is.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
