don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
