so let's talk penis.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
