She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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