Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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