We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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