Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
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If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
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The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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