I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
