Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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