did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
