oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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