So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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