honey bunches of taint.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
