so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Randomize
