Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
