My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm just crazy horny about you
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
And then my night got REAL pukey
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
