Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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