if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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