These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
