The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
