Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
