Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
