there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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