How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
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i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You pole danced in your parka.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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