So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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