Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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