i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
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You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
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She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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