we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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