i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
