Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
