I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
either way he was missing a nipple.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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