dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
