Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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