the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
