Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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