I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
