That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
