He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
