Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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