That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
