I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he fucked my hip out of place.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
