woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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