I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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