Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We have started to decorate penises.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
