He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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