the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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