***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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