were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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