I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize