what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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