____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
